Mother-daughter relationships in Ladybird

Context

Ladybird is an indie, drama film directed by Greta Gerwig that was released in 2017. The film is centered on the relationship between Ladybird and her mother. Gerwig’s use of dialogue and screenplay illustrates the complexities of mother-daughter relationships which are not often shown in films. The complex relationship between Ladybird and Marion may remind you of your relationship with your mother and help you appreciate your bond.

Mother-daughter relationships in Ladybird

Throughout the film, we see many arguments between Ladybird and her mother, a very realistic representation of mother-daughter relationships. Marion, Ladybird’s mother seems to have very low expectations of her daughter and reminds her constantly about it. A scene that really stood out to me was when Ladybird was looking for a prom dress with her mother. Although Marion was not necessarily insulting her, she had nothing nice to say which upset Ladybird. “I just wish, I just, I wish that you liked me.” “Of course I love you.” “But do you like me?” The silence and avoidance of the question fills us with sorrow for Ladybird.

There are many possible factors on why Marion may not actively show her love towards Ladybird just like there are many possible reasons for why mothers may dislike their daughters. Although Marion loves Ladybird, she definitely struggles to express her feelings which leaves an impression that she does not dislike Ladybird. It may be true that Marion dislikes certain attributes of Ladybird but she does love her.

Psychological reasons which may have affected their relationship

- Previous Mother-Daughter relationship

A possible reason Marion doesn’t show her affection Ladybird often may because she doesn’t know how. Although we never hear about Ladybird’s grandmother, it is possible that Marion and her mother did not have a great relationship also. This experience would have led Marion to continue the cycle as she does not know how to have a healthy mother-daughter relationship. As her mother never showed her affection, Marion would have learnt that this was normal occurrence leading her to treat her daughter the same way she was treated.

- Similarities and possible jealousy

Another possible reasons that stuck out to me was that Marion saw herself in Ladybird. Both women are stubborn and opinionated which causes a clash of personalities. The clash of personalities lead to many arguments as both women are similar and do not want to back down. In the film we see Ladybird is very confident to going to a college with culture, adamant that she will fit in and enjoy life better there. Marion seems to disagree and does not support Ladybird’s dream of moving to another city for college. Although there are many reasons for why she does want her to move away including financial issues and abandonment, I think Marion is upset as she sees herself in Ladybird. Marion is very similar to Ladybird and may have also had a similar dream. However she was unable to achieve her dreams and may now hold resentment towards Ladybird as she can.

- Complicated ways of showing love

Another idea of why Marion and Ladybird had such a complicated relationship was because Marion always wanted what was best for Ladybird. Marion is very blunt and was not afraid to give Ladybird her true opinion as she did not want to protect her from the harsh reality of life. However her consistent reminders came off as rude remarks which offended Ladybird. The audience can see this when Marion discourages Ladybird from applying to big city colleges that are hard to get in to. Marion knows her daughters weaknesses and strengths and she may of felt that Ladybird would not get into such a great college. This led to her making snide comments saying she would never be accepted as she did not want Ladybird to feel disappointed if she did not. Marion may of felt that her offensive remarks were protecting Ladybird as she would always see the reality and disappointment of a situation. However it mostly just hurt Ladybird’s feelings and left her thinking that her mother did not think highly of her.

(@GretaGerwig)

Ladybird presents a great exploration of mother-daughter relationship complexities and reminds us that not all relationships are perfect. You may feel that you are not loved by a parent but it may be just that they do not know how to show it and just want to protect you. I think that Ladybird is a beautiful film and helps us appreciate our bonds with others.

How did you interpret Ladybird’s relationship with her mother?